How Rafael Amaya Overcame His Drug and Alcohol Addiction

In late 2019, many wondered why Rafael Amaya wasn't part of the seventh season of Telemundo's hit narco series El Señor de los Cielos. The Mexican star, who played the protagonist, disappeared from the studio where the show was filmed and also went dark on social media. He seemed to fall off the face of the Earth, giving no explanations to anyone and ignoring phone calls from loved ones.

The 43-year-old actor — who spoke exclusively to People en Español about his struggle with drug and alcohol addiction — now feels that being alive today is a miracle. "I lost my inner peace, the love I had for my family, my job," he recalls. "Little by little I sunk into the dark mud of alcohol and drugs, living every possible excess." Amaya spent months traveling through Europe and Central and South America, wearing baseball caps and letting his beard grow to try to go unrecognized. "I spent a lot of time alone, causing a lot of hurt to my loved ones, my friends, my colleagues, and my fans." Eight months ago, he reached out to a dear friend when he felt he had reached rock bottom. Singer Roberto Tapia received a call from the actor, who told him, "Compadre, I need help, I can't [do this] anymore."

Without hesitating, Tapia joined forces with the actor's sister, Fátima Amaya, and his manager, Karem Guedimin, who had been looking for him for months. Claiming that there were lucrative work projects waiting for him, they convinced him to travel to Sinaloa, Mexico, where he entered a rehabilitation clinic. "I was screaming out that I needed help," he says. "I felt like I had lost everything, that my life wasn't worth anything."

Amaya says decided to isolate himself to deal with many personal and psychological issues. "I was flying without direction," he shares. "I felt alone, like I didn't have God's love, I felt I didn't deserve many things." He feels grateful to be back on track today thanks to the help of his family and "angels" like Tapia and boxer Julio César Chávez, whose own story of overcoming drug addiction inspired Amaya. "He told me, 'If I could get better, everyone could get better,'" Amaya recalls of Chávez's advice.

Amaya admits now that he felt blinded by superficial things and got to know the dark side of fame. He found himself again in the Baja del Sol rehab clinic after four months of treatment. It was his first time in rehab, he says. Chávez adds that in the beginning Rafa seemed "a bit psychotic, still believing he was El Señor de Los Cielos. He is a noble man. Like every human being, we make mistakes in life. The hard thing is not falling but getting back up."

The actor has a positive outlook on life again. "I was numb and couldn't feel anything," he says of his darker days. "With all the blessings life presented to me, I feel I have been reborn. I have faith, I have love, hope, plans."

He had negative influences around him during his dark periods, too. "I had bad friends and I didn't have my feet on the ground," he says. "My good friends have always been there, but since they didn't drink or party or have luxurious cars or yachts, I felt they weren't at my level. It was ridiculous. I didn't know then that the most precious thing a human being has is health, and I was losing it."

He now says "drugs are death" and wants to share his story so that he can be a beacon of light for others. "If anyone is thinking of helping a loved one, don't think about it twice, because you are saving that person's life," he says. He feels ready to make his comeback as an actor and is waiting for offers to return to the big or small screen.

"I never thought, in my wildest dreams, that I would be talking about this topic so openly," he admits. "I have nothing to hide, I'm not afraid of anything. I already went up, down, I fell and got back up." He is also open to finding love again. "What I needed was to love myself," he says. "If I didn't love myself, how was I supposed to love someone else? I feel ready to practice faith, to love myself, and we'll see what happens. Today I'm single, but I feel very in love with life, with God."