Demi Lovato Opens Up About Her Queer Identity
Demi Lovato spoke to Glamour magazine about breaking off her engagement to actor Max Ehrich and embracing her sexuality as a queer woman. "When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am," Lovato said. "This past year I was engaged to a man, and when it didn't work, I was like, 'This is a huge sign.' I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn't going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth."
She is slowly opening up to love again through casual dating. "I hooked up with a girl and was like, 'I like this a lot more.' It felt better. It felt right," she told the magazine. "Some of the guys I was hanging out with — when it would come time to be sexual or intimate, I would have this kind of visceral reaction. Like, 'I just don't want to put my mouth there.' It wasn't even based on the person it was with. I just found myself really appreciating the friendships of those people more than the romance, and I didn't want the romance from anybody of the opposite sex."
She added about her broken engagement: "Because I denied my intuition of all the red flags that had popped up, I had no one else to blame but myself. So I was like, 'How am I ever going to trust again?' But really, I was like, 'B****, you should have trusted yourself. If you had trusted yourself, you wouldn't have ended up in this position.'"
The 28-year-old star — who also talked about her drug overdose and overcoming a serious health crisis in her new YouTube documentary, Dancing With the Devil — says she is in a good place today. "It's really interesting — finding that balance," she said. "Once I really did find it, my whole life fell into place the way it was supposed to." Meditating and finding support in spiritual guides has helped.
The pressures of looking like other people expected her to contributed to her having an eating disorder. "I was trying on different identities that felt authentic to me but weren't me," she recalled. "The super-feminine pop star was an identity that sounded like it fit and looked like it fit, so I put it on like it fit." Today, embracing her curves and getting a new pixie cut feels just right. "What I'm encouraging people to do is just make choices for themselves," she explained. "Autonomy, for me, is what changed my life."
She is also open to love. "I'm very much listening to my intuition, and that's not to say my boundaries or my guard is up," she said. "It's just saying my ears are perked a little higher and my eyes are open a little wider."